So I wait
February 05, 2004 at 5:27 PM

Do you ever feel lost? Wandering, and searching, when you can't see ten feet in front of you...Knowing that you are being pushed toward something...but you don't know what. You don't know which direction to lean, or even which foot to start with. You feel pressed to start something, to do something, to be something, to make your life into something more...

But what...

It feels like it's time to move...but you can't see the goal to move towards. And you're too scared to even move from the spot where you stand, in fear of starting in the wrong direction. So you just stand still. Very very still, and wait for something to come to you...all the while wondering if it has passed you by. That you somehow missed what you were looking for, even when it was right in front of your face. It feels too late. It feels too late for so many things, so many opportunities. It feels like you missed out on everything...and so you stand still, very very still and wait for something, or Someone, to come to you. To come and save you, and pull you out of the fog. Knowing that even when it comes, you'll still be scared to move because your feet have been in this very spot for so long that you've begun to sink. You feel like any wrong move will drown you, and suffocate you in your very own wonderings.

Please don't leave me here...Come pull me out...