Sometimes...
January 07, 2004 at 9:23 PM

I don't quite even know how to write. I feel like I need to talk about you and what I feel about you...but it's kinda hard to put you into words sometimes. I feel different around you everytime I'm with you.

Sometimes I just want to look at you, just watch you. Watch you play guitar, drums, piano...the many things you're good at.

Sometimes I want to laugh with you, and crack up and jump and skip and be silly.

Sometimes I wanna hit you cuz you can be such a jerk.

Sometimes I wanna cuddle you...

Sometimes I wanna run and tackle you and hold you and roll around with you.

But everytime I see you, I think about how I want to marry you. I feel the love I get from your family. Paigie IS my sister, plain and simple. I just LOVE her, and I want to make her my sister for real someday...and your parents are such blessings, I LOVE THEM. I feel already like a part of the family...

Is this a sign that someday, it WILL be real? I see God moving in my life. I see God answering prayers and hopes and dreams, and things I never even knew I wanted...and yet they're becoming real...Just one thing stillreamins unanswered...IS MY LOVE COMING TOO?

In some ways, I feel like you do love me, Eric...in some ways. Maybe not a romantic kind of love...but somehow, I still feel love from you. And you make me feel so good. So important.

Like my songs...you sat down and tried to learn them, even when I wasn't around. You took time out to work on something for me. And you pushed me to do one of the songs in church, and we're alreday talking about the next one we'll do... Me and you...TOGETHER. That's the ultimate dream for me...Making music with you, my love...

You are so important to me. You make me feel so amazing, and I just want to be with you, all the time. You don't realize how amazing you are...and I want to make it my job to let you know everytime I see you...I wanna spend every day with you. So I can laugh with you and cry with you, play music with you, and LOVE YOU...I wanna marry you.

And I will someday....right?

"Am I too obvious to pretend, you're so hypnotic on my heart.."