Hmmm....
September 13, 2003 at 9:01 PM

I don't really have anything in particular to write about, but I just got a new layout that I LOOOOOVE! And I wanted to have a new entry to go along with it.

I'm gonna buy my car this week!!! A black VW Beetle, my dream car....I'm so excited!!! I can't wait...I even have a whole scheme picked out for the inside. Blue, Black, and White Hawaiian seat covers and floor mats, and all the matching car things that go with the set. It's gonna be soooooo cute! It's my dream to finally be able to afford my very own car, all by myself. This will be the most expensive, biggest, most important purchase I have ever made. It's a huge deal for me, and I feel soooo good! YAY!

Eric,

It was so nice to see your beautiful, happy, smiling face tonight. You are my joy. But please, tell me what this conversation meant...

Me: "I may not remember what we're singing tomorrow because everytime I go to sleep, I tend to forget everything from the day before..."

You: "Yeah, I know. We should sleep together so that we can both wake up tomorrow and neither one of us will know what's going on..."

Hmm..."sleep together"...ahhhh...don't tease me boy. Those words brought on way way too many urges and visions...If only....

You made me smile, anyway. You sexy boy. Being just friends is hard when you're so damn hot, and so fun, and so cute, and when I love you so much. I love being around you baby.

I hear he has this girlfriend. But it's funny cuz even thogh she goes to church, I've never seen him with her. Maybe girlfriends mean different things when your 16, but it's like, I've never seen him hold hands, or show affection of any kind with anyone that has ever been called his girlfriend.

Of course I am jealous, but it doesn't worry me much I guess because he never seems to stay in relationships for very long, and his "relationships" never tend to last long from what I can tell. I think you don't even know what that is. I bet you have no idea, and I bet you're not even ready, and that's okay. I can wait a few years to marry you...He he...

And I still don't know if I want that for sure. You know, a relationship with him. I DO, and yet I don't know. I am thinking if you are around still in the future, maybe 2 years or so from now. Not only will you be even more gorgeous, but you will be more grown up. More mature, maybe more ready. To give me the love I want, and deserve. I am not about to get my little heart broken because you aren't ready to be serious and commit. Because you're probably not, and there's nothing wrong with that. But my heart can't take being played with. I fall too easy...

So, who knows. I am looking at this guy at work. He seems really sweet and I have played with the idea of getting to know him more. It's hard to get to know anyone at work though, because some people I don't see all week, and then only see them for a few hours on the weekends, and we're working the entire time. And I am wayyyy to shy to ask to see anyone outside work, so....no luck there.

Well, time to go. I love everyone, and I wish you all peace, and hugs, and sweet dreams...

Eric, see you in the morning. In my dreams, you'll be lying next to me...