Back to the music
August 16, 2003 at 11:50 PM

Well, here I am again...

I don't wanna talk about him right now...I feel like I've been doing that too much lately anyway.

I don't wanna think about him, or worry about him, or dream about him. It's done. I'm done, but it's okay. I've been through this before, and I'm really okay. It'll pass.

So I want to shift my focus back to where it used to be...MUSIC.

I haven't even mentioned it in here in quite some time. Don't get me wrong, I haven't been away from it. In fact, music's been all around me, and I love that. It's just what I need, all the time. It fills up the spaces inside, and gives me love where there isn't any. Music has saved my life in so many ways, and has opened doors, and has made me happier than anything, ever. And I am in love with the music that saves me, holds me, and loves me back. It will never fail me.

Some exciting news....I am finally finally completely and totally DONE writing all the music, lyrics, and everything for my CD... DONE DONE DONE!!!! And it feels sooooooo good. Now is where it starts...

I have the whole thing all figured out I think. Deb has a cd burner that you can record from a mic into. So I am going to use it and make a ROUGH ROUGH "demo" for the guys to listen to. Dwayne will figure out his drum part, and Rob will figure out the bass line, and whoever else is in on this, which I am not quite sure of yet...Then, we'll go to Rob's and what I want to do is have all the instruments recorded at Rob's and put on CD and he can mix it and make it sound awesome. THEN, it will be all ready and when I go to the studio, basically I can just sing karaoke style to the recording of all of them. This will save so much time, beause then we can focus mostly on mixing them, and mixing the voices, and spending a lot more time adding in cool harmonies and extra fun things, instead of spending the whole time on getting all the band sounding good, that will already be done ahead of time, and will be free cuz Rob is cool like that.

So, i am finally FINALLY ready for this. I have 6 songs that are for sure done and I actually like them and I want them on the CD. That was hard to decide, but I am happy with what i have, and the cool part is that they will only get better once we add in all the other fun things. I am so excited...this is gonna be my dream. I have always wanted to make a CD, and this is my heart and soul that's gonna be on there. My thoughts, hopes, prayers, dreams, everything. Which also makes this extremely scary, but I have been held back so much by fear in my life that I just really am not willing to let it hold me back anymore. In fact, one song is exactly about that. (Actually, as you read this, the lyrics to that song are scrolling across the top of the screen. Yup, those are my words...scary....) And I wrote it in a time where I realized just how much fear really had hurt me in so many ways, and I refuse let it keep me from my dream. So....here I go. Wish me luck. Soon I'll have my very own CD...YIKES.

Well, time to go nite nite. I wish you all the love that you so deserve...

Hugs...